My soul sister (SS) in apni Dilli (the smartest, strong willed & intelligent person I know) is trying to deal with these demons that haunt her. I heard her grievances and felt awful. The very next day the selfless and ever helpful part of me decided to be her savior. Aware of my prior experience in recruitment (executive search) SS saw a ray of hope in me, and decided to give it a second shot. That’s how I signed up for ‘Operation Search’.
At first we started two separate searches thinking they are different...but soon after a few first hand experiences noticed striking similarities. The fact remains that one can keep changing houses till they find the perfect one, but certainly cannot do the same for a husband. But experiences during these seemingly different searches have serious resemblances.
I’m sure you may be wondering how can the experiences during the search for a good husband be similar to those from the search for a rented accommodation…trust me… they are…read on to know how ;)
Classified
It all begins with the ad in the newspaper. The attributes in black and white look alluring and very tempting. You start dreaming and making future plans even before weighing the options and doing a reality check.
Your heart says—“This is it”…mind says ---“snap out of it girl” and you unwillingly trudge your way out of dreamland. The next logical step - make a call. So you pick up the phone and dial the number mentioned in the ad… the phone on the other end rings…and rings…and rings… and rings…and rings…
Once again you find yourself drifting into dreamland….hmmmm….
Suddenly a loud HELLOOOO brings you back to reality and you find yourself at a firing range. You are being bombarded with questions left...right and centre...questions about who are you, what do you do, which place do you belong too, where do your parents stay, education, caste, do you cook - veg or non veg, etc etc.
At first you tackle the questions one by one...as they come...Then you say to yourself…what the **** and without thinking twice BANG goes the phone.
Surprised by the questions…don’t be…This is the typical questionnaire landlords and to be in-laws follow.
Exteriors versus the true picture
This time the ‘classified’ level has been cleared and you decide to move to level 2. Wow! What progress ;)
After a hard day’s work you travel to the other end of town to do a reality check. Traffic jams have sucked the life out of you but one glance (that too from far) brings you back to life.
The looks and perks are all appealing. Foundation too looks strong and deep rooted, but once face to face…you start noticing things…the well grounded and strong rooted structure has several weak links…the advantages start turning into disadvantages.
What next….you pretend to get a text msg from office and immediately leave for an important meeting.
Independent and open minded - Please excuse !!
It’s time to rope in an expert…the so called middleman for help. Believe me it’s a good business opportunity for those who like to talk, have convincing skills and aren’t made for a typical 9 to 5 job. At first he seems very enthusiastic about the whole thing and gives us many assurances. He is excited to find you the prefect deal coz he never imagined a smart, independent and intelligent woman coming to him for help. It’s a challenge for him...Sweet Challenge ;)
1st week he calls several times….out of sheer excitement. He goes back to his classy office and evaluates the offers he can make. Then he starts making calls to the other parties. Slowly calls from the middleman reduce…tables turn…you start following up.
Finally one day you land up at his office full of rage. He is caught unguarded and tries to pacify you. Then after gathering all his strength he finally puts the facts in front of you and says …“Ka kare maadumji.. sab bolte hai - Independent and open minded – nahi chahiye…required only gharelu log.
What next….you give him a look and leave.
Limitless Limitations
One day out of the blue and almost suddenly you find what have been looking for. Just like in your dreams….decent, appealing, accommodating, modern yet with a strong foundation…But your dream is crushed to pieces as soon as the rightful owners pull out their list of dos and donts. At first you say to yourself - what the heck?. Then you take a deep breath and think calmly. Thought suggests ---a few adjustments here and there won’t make a difference... after all who doesn’t have to make adjustments.
You snap out of your thoughts and try to concentrate on what is being said. Soon the demanding list exceeds your list of reasons to be there in the first place.
What next- You pretend to be unwell and rush out to get some fresh air. Once out of the uncomfortable surrounding you run as fast as you can.
After all the running around, we thought that an ad in the newspaper would be the best thing to do. Instead of SS searching and approaching people how about people approaching her. Probably that’s what people who are tired of searching do…put up an ad to be found.
After much thought, we came up with a common classified ad. It read…
I’m sure SS will find at least one of the two…a good husband or a decent place to rent through the ad.I just wish she finds a dilwala in Delhi who will be by her side forever and then buy her a nice big house. :)
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